1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
