90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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