Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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