you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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