Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
