If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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