we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
