3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
