Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
