Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He better not be in your backpack
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
