every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Alive.
So much puke
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
