69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
