I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
