what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
