I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
