remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
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