Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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