I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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