So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
