Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
