how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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