note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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