Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think a kid would responsible me up
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we're so committed to being not committed
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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