i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
