he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
