What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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