I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
