Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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