Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
