Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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