butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
