Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
