Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
