like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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