ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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