Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
