the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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