it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
