fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
