the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
