Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
