weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
