God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
