This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
