Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
