i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
