Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
