does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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