Say something about gay babies.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
