She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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